Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Reflections on Leadership


Yesterday, I handed over the everyday running of Prajnya to someone else, to begin my own departure from the organization I founded. I have always believed this to be necessary to the organisation’s growth, not to mention my own. In these almost-15 years, I have had a great deal of opportunity to reflect on leadership and I would like to write down some of these thoughts.

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At a recent discussion about teaching leadership, it occurred to me that the best leaders are actually citizens first and foremost. Leadership comes from their willingness to step up and do what is needed without waiting for someone else to do it first or along with them.

It is not rote citizenship, the kind that drags you grumbling to a voting booth. It is not about the sense of entitlement that has you complaining with the expectation that someone else will fix the problem. It is ownership of the problem and the solution. The consciousness that one is responsible for both, I think, is a key element.

This is why, to my mind, being self-aware and by extension, aware of one’s privileges, such as they are, are key features of a leader’s attitude. That constant self-examination or introspection must surely be necessary. This is something about Gandhi that I find very admirable—that he was self-aware and able to be honest about what he saw. “Change begins with me,” is sometimes attributed to him and whether he said it or not, he seems to have lived it.

Conscience-driven citizenship is leadership, I think. When you act because something is right or insist on doing things the right way and not the easy or common or convenient way, that is citizenship and leadership. To not take the short cut and to insist on following the right path, is good citizenship and leadership. This is true whether the context is some official process or a decision that must be made or a social media debate—the need to do the right thing is good citizenship, and therefore, leadership.

Because this path is hard, it is necessarily courageous. It is courageous because sometimes one may take an unpopular position or a position apparently inconsistent with what one’s team or party or family thinks. It is courageous because one has to find the ability to express oneself, and then to defend oneself in increasingly uncivil and even vicious, times. It is courageous because a conscience-driven choice may mean one has to wait or forego some opportunity or access—or personal benefit. It may be that one is constantly defending the decision and that is both wearying and demoralizing. Courageous citizenship is to stay the course patiently, and to speak one’s truth calmly, over and over and over again.

Compassion and care are crucial traits of citizens, and therefore, leaders. If self-interest is said to have brought us into political communities, there is a dimension of collective interest in that. If I uphold the law in your interest, I set a precedent in my interest. Universal welfare that initially benefits you, will surely also benefit me. Traffic laws meant to prevent me from being mowed down, will also keep you safe. But a good community and a good citizen will go beyond that instrumental reason.

To feel for others, to care about deprivation and injustice, to seek to include and to want to help are impulses that lead to good, compassionate citizenship. Discussions about gender justice at the workplace often start and stop at instrumental reasons like company reputation and costs, but the reality is that justice will take root when we are moved by compassion and persuaded by conscience, rather than a cost-benefit analysis. Compassion is good citizenship, and certainly, leadership is not possible without compassion—you may be able to enforce your writ but people will obey you not emulate, follow or love you.

Conscience-driven, compassionate and courageous citizenship is constantly seeking to make things better, and sometimes, especially when resources are limited, one has to be creative and resourceful to find the thing that one can do. Citizenship is to not say, “It’s too difficult or costly,” or, “How can we make a difference?”, it is to find that one thing that we can do, and do it. That is also leadership.

Standard images of “leaders” depict leaders as those who stand at the head of a room and talk, sometimes delivering homilies and sometimes instructions. But in fact, I think, leaders are those who walk into a room, take stock of what needs to be done, and start doing it. Others follow that example and that is leadership. Leadership follows from exemplary citizenship.

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Over the years, the Prajnya Archives have put out two calls for photos of women in leadership roles. In the first one, we defined leadership as ‘making things happen.’ In the second, we defined it as ‘the citizen next door.’ These crowd-sourced projects had the worst response and got us wondering about the relationship women have with leadership.

This puzzles me especially because in another part of my life, I spend a lot of time thinking about getting women into politics and especially into legislatures. Through academic study, I have learnt to list many reasons why, on an average, women only make up 10-15% of legislatures.

But working with women and girls, I am coming to the conclusion that the problem begins deep in our hearts. It is two-fold; first, it lies in the way we define leadership, and second, it lies in the way women typically view their work.

If leadership is that head-of-the-room, everyone saluting when you pass thing, then women rarely have that. Not being seen as the ‘boss,’ itself then becomes a reason for not being the boss or not feeling like the boss. When you redefine leadership as citizenship, then women start to become visible.

Women are active in Residents’ Welfare Associations, in Parent Teachers’ Associations, in charity work and in professional organisations, often handling finances, logistics and public relations. Even if you confine them to the private sphere as home-makers, they budget, manage money, make allocation decisions (“Politics is the authoritative allocation of resources,” is a classic definition), build team spirit, resolve disputes and make policy decisions that balance need with aspiration and pleasure—all tasks that leaders must perform, as Prime Ministers or Presidents!

Patriarchy says that maintenance work within the home is a woman’s job, and women do the same work outside the home, it still has the same tag. They do it because it needs to be done and if it is neither remunerative nor glamorous, it is their job to get it done. The work is invisible and unpaid, and there is no special appreciation most of the time. Even when it is glorified and women are praised for their care work, it is naturalized rather than recognized for what it takes. Women internalize this and when you ask them to self-identify as leaders, it is hard for them to do so. They simply do what is needed.

How do we change that? How do we give them the confidence to see themselves as successful leaders? Women often consider themselves unqualified for political office, although male counterparts are also just as untrained or unlettered. Perhaps the teaching of small skills will create that confidence—teaching people what they know instinctively and just putting a structure and label on it. This may be a way to help adult women, but we still have a chance with every young girl that we meet. To treat her as a person, a thinking human being with capabilities and inner resources; to take the time and make the effort to listen to her; and to instill a sense of infinite possibility in each girl—it is actually easier to do than to write!

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What does a leader look like? Based on my reading and observations over the years, here are some qualities I would list (in no particular order) as essential to leadership.
  • ·       A leader is honest, first to herself and then to others. This means, a leader introspects and has the grace to be corrected and the fortitude to accept and be open about mistakes.
  • ·       A leader is the first to get to work (on herself or the task at hand), works ahead of everyone and harder than her team. You cannot ask people to do things you will not do, and this was Gandhi’s message. There is no task that a leader will not perform within the team. Every expectation that is held up for the team must first be met by the leader or aspiring leader.
  • ·       A leader is ready to learn—new facts, new perspectives, new skills—and knows when to seek the leadership and guidance of others.
  • ·       The leader is not “the boss”—and to borrow from old political science textbooks, is merely first among equals and that by virtue of work, not entitlement.
  • ·       Praise, warmth and encouragement, openly and generously given, are stock in trade for a good leader, while correction and criticism are discreetly delivered in low tones.
  • ·       A leader is disciplined. I think more and more about that Indian ideal, ‘control over the senses,’ which also includes control over anger and lust.
  • ·       A leader is perceptive and sensitive to others in the team (and beyond). She listens to what people tell her and she also pays attention to what they don’t say—Are they moving slowly? Are they quick to anger or tears? Are they struggling with something? Being sensitive to the needs of colleagues allows a leader to create optimal work conditions.
  • ·       A leader is forgiving, and is able to patiently give people a chance to learn from their mistakes and grow.
  • ·       It is a tight-rope between running a disciplined ship and creating enough space for people not to feel suffocated, and a leader must be able to renegotiate that patiently every day.
  • ·       There cannot be an endless recall of past errors and if something cannot be corrected, there should be a way to change the situation that is not soul-destroying to the other person.
  • ·       Leadership is humane.
  • ·       Good leadership speaks softly but does not need a stick.
  • ·       Leaders do not seek leadership; they do what needs to be done and others follow.

I am reminded of Kenneth Boulding’s Three Faces of Power—destructive, exchange and integrative. You can force people to obey you but not to embrace you as a leader. You can buy compliance for a while. But it is the heart that inspires allegiance and bestows leadership, isn’t it?


Saturday, September 29, 2018

"Gotta grab some coffee!"

In the early years of cable TV in India, I would watch American sitcoms with people looking really busy and running around with coffee mugs. Decades later, on this trip, I watch people refill giant travel cups with coffee, mostly black. The cups sit in their holders in cars or on their desks, and they consume the beverage slowly, stone cold.

Coffee in my head is a beverage I associate with smart, busy people doing important things. Chai is about stopping work all the time. I want to be a coffee person, not a chai person.

My hotel rooms come with coffee-makers. There is a brand of fair-trade, organic coffee that I saw in a hotel last November and that is also supplied in this hotel. Last year, I thought it was good. This year, in two weeks of experimentation, it still doesn't taste right. So I bought some branded coffee "house blend." Still not so great.

So here is the truth. I love the fragrance of coffee brewing. For years. Gloria Jean at the entrance of every mall would draw me in with the fragrance and I would just dump the coffee within five minutes.

I now watch my American friends and colleagues talk about 'coffee' and grab their coffee and walk around with it, and it looks so buzzy and inviting... but I don't necessarily want to drink the stuff.

In the way that we seem to return to our early years, at this moment, I seem to be really a tea person. I am traveling with Dilmah tea-bags and have rediscovered Bigelow's Constant Comment tea. There is a particular thirst that just calls for tea. Coffee simply does not cut... not right now.

But if someone you know makes a coffee room freshener, or if Maroma begins making coffee incense again, do tell me!



Tuesday, September 25, 2018

The appeal of Farmers' Markets

True confession: In India, I hate shopping for vegetables. I know, I know, they are fresher, tastier, etc. But I am not enough of a gourmet to necessarily notice most of the time (and I hate any kitchen-related work), and the mess of our markets has always been a turn-off. I am looking at the ground, trying not to step on things, while dodging humans and cows and vehicles. And then to be expected to be interested in the vegetables and in haggling for them is too much. Give me the packed vegies at Nilgiris any day.

Even then, the bags, the purse and the damned dupatta... I always enter home muttering and cursing.

But in North America, where I still care less about the produce than the prettiness, Farmers' Markets are signs of late summer and early fall. Walking over to the Market in the Square in Urbana was a special pleasure. Seeing the prettily laid out stalls, walking around them, smelling the cinnamon and coffee in the cool morning air, are delightful memories.

In Leiden, the high point of the Farmers' Market is the stretch with flowers. And the nutman. Or the various nut-men with their large variety of dry fruit and nuts. The canal is a backdrop as we walk back and forth, and there is something special about choosing and bringing the unbelievably gorgeous flowers home.

Visiting the Okemos Farmers' Market the morning after my arrival was fun for these reasons. I bought fruit and tomatoes, but also cookies. And of course in mid-September, I had to have a taste of pear-apple cider. And yes, I bought flowers!


 

 


Everything is so neatly laid out and even at the end of a morning of people coming and going--fair enough, there is a great deal of space to spread out and the crowds are nothing compared to India--it never gets really dirty. How? How? Someone share this secret with us!


Sunday, September 16, 2018

Roads, homes and the journey of life

There! I have given this blogpost a title to which it will never live up.

Detroit airport is far from the dumpy, slow and grey place it was when I last passed through in 2001. Everything is shiny and moves faster than I remember, and it seems as if ours is the only flight that arrived at the time it did, whereas I know that's peak arrival time.

The delay in our arrival means we are on the road at the same time as Friday flexitime commuters. We take a detour--a scenic detour--to escape traffic jams and I have the chance to remember things I had forgotten.

Like this is the time when everything is harvested. Talk stalks of corn lined the roads we drove on from Willard Airport to Philo, and I could see their silhouette as we drove. I had never lived near farmland before and the cycle of seasons in Indian schools is summer, monsoon and cool weather. I had never read the seasons in the land. Till Illinois.

 Larry Kanfer's Prairiescapes had been placed on my bed to entertain me. It showed me how to see these flat lands, so easily dismissed by those with a taste for the dramatic, as beautiful and subtly spectacular.

I had forgotten how green everything is. And that Michigan is hilly. I had forgotten how quiet these towns are, and how orderly.

I hard forgotten how chatty everyone is, and how easy it is for introverts to be chatty when it is not necessary to hold up one's guard against an endless barrage of personal questions. And advice.

I had forgotten that I have not once come back to the place that was home--these prairie states--in a time when everything else was changing. Fifteen years. And then this drive home on country roads.

The song asks "country roads" to take the singer to the place where he belongs. I don't belong here. That is the reason I left--to do the work that I wanted in the place to which I belong and which belongs to me without doubt. But I left behind friendships  and took back with me a heart full of memories of kindness and warmth, and a memory of myself that sometimes gets lost somewhere on the cluttered desk of my responsibilities.

In order to find your way, sometimes you have to go away and sometimes you have to come home. I have gone away and come home. In these large open spaces, live friends with large, open hearts, and I will find myself and my way, once again.

I can smell the greenery everywhere, and I remember that I like that smell.

It's so good to be here... to be home!